What Happens Behind Closed Doors
by Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
Summary: As oldest brother, Jr.'s duty is to watch over Gaignun and know what the younger brother does. However, what Gaignun privately does with Mary and Shelley is one thing Jr. doesn't need, or want, to know about. One-Shot.


_**What Happens Behind Closed Doors**_

**SUMMARY**: As oldest brother, Jr.'s duty is to watch over Gaignun and know what his younger brother does. However, what Gaignun privately does with Mary and Shelley is one thing Jr. doesn't need, or want, to know about.

**GENRE**: General/Humor  
**RATED**: PG-13 / T  
**NOTABLE CONTENT**: Sexual Humor/Themes and Strong Language  
**PAIRING(S)**: Gaignun/Godwins

**COPYRIGHT NOTE**: I don't own _Xenosaga  
_**STORY TAKES PLACE IN**: No set timeframe, though probably set around Episode I or II

**COMMENTS**: Two FYI warnings for this one-shot. First, this story regards the Mary/Gaignun/Shelley threesome. (There is also one brief Jr./Gaignun-ish innuendo, but it's not "real" yaoi. You're welcomed to consider it yaoi if you like). There's no actual sex in this story, but based on the title/summary, I'm sure readers can tell this fic has innuendos.

Secondly, like my usual U.R.T.V. comedies, this story regards elements that are funny and serious. I love teasing Jr., but for once in my life, I wanted to write a comedy that's more meaningful than empty jokes. There is some angst in this fic, so I'll apologize in advance. I had to sacrifice some humor for the sake of driving home the moral of this story, but I hope it'll be a worthwhile compromise. Thus, I'm not sure how funny this one-shot will turn out, but I'm crossing my fingers with hopes that somebody will like this fic.

Alrighty, tis' a long one-shot (again), but please enjoy!

* * *

**What Happens Behind Closed Doors**

_Aiselne Nocturnus_

It was a bright and beautiful morning on the Kukai Foundation.

In fact, no, "bright and beautiful morning" was too broad of a phrase to describe this day. From the panoramic windows of the docked _Durandal_'s residential suites, the mobile colony's metropolis could be seen. Buildings glimmered like diamonds, credited to the brilliant sun suspended overhead. The newly risen sun reflected shimmering rays of the purest gold. Its picturesque cerulean sky was modestly speckled in white cotton ball clouds. Even artificial birds danced across the heavens, which was exactly what Gaignun Kukai felt like doing at this given moment. Words alone could not describe the majesty of this perfect, simply _perfect _morn. Was the sun as bright as Gaignun's smile? Probably not. Oh, what a magnificent morning today brought. Simply breathtaking! Another wonderful day in manmade paradise.

"_Gaignun_…wipe that damn smirk off your face…RIGHT _NOW_!"

Of course, leave it to Gaignun's older brother to ruin a perfectly wondrous morning. Five minutes ago, a dripping, bathrobe-clad Jr. emerged from what Gaignun assumed was a refreshing shower. Usually, once the boy took his morning shower, Jr. was content. Such did not seem to apply this particular day, though. Ironically, Gaignun had yet to take his shower, or even sip his first cup of coffee, and he was currently flying higher than a kite!

Fortunately, the black-haired man was too far up cloud nine for his obnoxious sibling to spoil this moment. Bliss, ecstasy…so many joyful emotions ran through Gaignun's veins. There was nothing that could hope to tarnish the brilliancy that was this fine, _fine _morning. Hell, U-TIC could have attacked this morning, and the corners of Gaignun's lips never would have fallen. The world could have ended, and Gaignun would have died a very, _very_ happy man.

"Gaignun! _Gaignun_! I swear to God, I am _this_ close to kicking your ass right out that window!"

Unfortunately, Jr. did know how to behave like an obnoxious fly sometimes. Gaignun was not actually concerned about his brother's empty threat, but the younger Variant knew it was safer to heed his fiery sibling's inquiries. Furthermore, though Gaignun was still a happy, _happy_ clam, a sliver of his exuberant inebriation was minutely curious over why Jr. was not quite so happy on this fine day. Could there be trouble in paradise? Perish the thought! So, for the first time all morning, the raven-haired man turned away from the window of his suite's kitchen. Better to humor Jr. before he blew a fuse at six-thirty A.M.

The _Durandal_'s suites for the chairman and the captain were specifically built next to each other, set in remote locations of the Residential Area. Just beyond the bedrooms was the kitchen, shared between the Kukai brothers and Godwin sisters. Dressed only in black foundation-insignia bathrobes, the U.R.T.V.s typically sat across from each other at the kitchenette counter. At first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Maintaining his pleasant demeanor, Gaignun's glowing jade eyes met dark sapphire eyes.

…_Very_ dark sapphire eyes.

In fact, the said blue orbs were even lined with shady bags below the eye lines. A profoundly furrowed brow, paired with flushed cheeks, grinding teeth, and a fuming nose, made Jr. the spitting image of an attack dog. The only thing missing was foaming of the mouth, which was probably not out of Jr.'s power, either. The boy's earlier shower obviously had not improved his inherent irritability. Perhaps the redhead was _not _kidding when he made that threat on Gaignun's ass. Frankly, a little voice told Gaignun his ass was not the "only" body part in jeopardy at the moment.

For sake of his health (and life), the younger brother dared to calmly ask, "Is something bothering you, Jr.?"

The countertop's glasses and silverware jingled alongside a SLAM of fist against metal.

"Is something '_bothering_' me?" the loudmouth blasted, Jr.'s voice dripping with irritability and sarcasm. "_Brilliant _deduction, Gaignun!" he nearly screamed, elevating his voice with each word ranted out his mouth. The boy's opposite hand started rubbing droopy eyes before he continued his too-early morning tirade. "I'll tell you what's 'bothering' me! Try' four hours of sleep! That's all I got last night! _Four fucking hours_!"

Although unaware of the reasons behind Jr.'s sudden sleeplessness, Gaignun did sympathize. It was not uncommon for Gaignun to work on paperwork until the wee hours of the morning. Plus, every other month, Gaignun traveled from one planet to another, barely getting two hours of shuteye on shuttles. The ability to run the Kukai Foundation often yielded the inability to sleep.

However, today happened to be a rarity when the black-haired Variant was not suffering insomnia. Quite honestly, Gaignun slept well last night…_very_ well…the best he had in months! Sweet, sweet dreams.

Too bad Jr. did not seem to share Gaignun's happiness. Despite looking, and admittedly sometimes _acting_, like a foolish kid, Jr. was not an idiot. Pitiful four hours of sleep did not prevent the boy's brain from processing one clear-cut fact, based on Gaignun's holly jolly smile:

At six-thirty in the morning, no sane man could be _that_ happy and lively, before his shower and cup of coffee to boot!

_Unless_…

"…And after only four hours of sleep…" the enraged redhead snarled like the dragon he was inside. If Gaignun did not know better, he could have sworn he saw a brief flicker of red flash across his brother's eyes. "…I am in NO mood to be staring at your Goddamn, happy-peppy, 'Gaignun-Kukai-got-LAID' smirk!"

Well, that certainly jarred Gaignun out of his so-called happy-peppy euphoria. Indeed, his red-haired brother had such a not-so-eloquent way of describing Gaignun's glorious experiences last night. Not that Gaignun was ashamed, nor was there a shred of embarrassment across his smiling face. The _love_…the _passion_…last night was so much more than just "getting laid." Of course, the black-haired U.R.T.V. was still too deep in seventh heaven for Jr.'s vexation to hurt. Jr. probably could (and would) kick Gaignun's ass, and the younger brother would still be smiling, victoriously.

Still, there was a pique of curiosity in Gaignun driving him to ask, "How did you know?"

The redhead's face went from furious to exasperated in two seconds. "You mean, aside the fact that it's plastered all over your face, Mr. Smiley?" Jr. snorted incredulously, before shaking his head and murmuring something about a drink. "For God's sake, Gaignun, you're not exactly subtle! What the hell do you _think _kept me up last night?" he ranted, throwing his hands up for emphasis. "I'm amazed you and the girls didn't wake the whole friggen foundation! Second Miltia coulda' heard you!"

His elder sibling's gross exaggerations never fazed Gaignun. Rolling eyes, the man took Jr.'s tirade with a grain of salt. After all, "The _Durandal_'s walls are soundproof, Jr.," and for a damn good reason, too.

Gaignun's wise counterattack may be true, but that never meant Jr.'s migraines vanished. Slamming elbows against the metallic countertop, the redhead buried throbbing temples into his palms, occasionally tugging disheveled locks of wet hair.

"I'm seriously considering sound-proofing my _head_!" Jr. barked, mouthing another inaudible mention of an expletive and a drink. "Damn telepathy. Dad and his bright ideas."

It was the first time all morning Gaignun felt sorry for his smaller brother. _"Damn telepathy"_…therein laid the problem. It never mattered if the _Durandal_'s walls were soundproof, or if Jr. was on Second Miltia, or if he was halfway across the galaxy! No matter what, whether he liked it or not, the unfortunate U.R.T.V. would have still heard Gaignun and the Godwins' evening. Unlike the majority of their U.R.T.V. siblings lost on Miltia, the mental link between Rubedo and Nigredo never weaned over fourteen years. If anything, Jr. and Gaignun's link strengthened. Though the brothers considered their intact connection a good thing, one had to admit there were drawbacks to being closely bound by telepathy. U.R.T.V.s were created and raised to rely on one another, physically and mentally. Thus, Jr. felt secure knowing his and Gaignun's link was never severed.

However, that security never meant Jr. was obligated to enjoy listening to his brother's sexual escapades.

"Nobody forced you to listen to us last night, Jr.," the raven-haired man noted matter-of-factly. Yes, it was true that U.R.T.V.s were telepathically bound. Yet, it was also true that Gaignun's older brother tended to be quite the eavesdropper. The younger sibling was not sure if Jr. listened due to the mental link, or due to the redhead's nosiness. Knowing Jr., it was probably a culmination of the two possibilities.

Even so, Gaignun certainly was not going to apologize for what happened last night. His relationship with Mary and Shelley was not secretive, and it certainly was nothing that brought Gaignun embarrassment or shame. The Kukais knew the Godwins for about twelve years. Approximately seven of those twelve years dubbed Gaignun's relationship with Mary and Shelley as more than professional. Even the media knew about the threesome, though tabloids tended to over-exaggerate Gaignun's affairs as spicy sensationalism.

Pregnancy rumors sprouted at least twice a year. Frankly, Gaignun laughed at those lies. Did the media not realize Gaignun had his hands full with his "adopted son"? After Jr., Gaignun had no intentions of becoming a father. Naturally, the rumors did not stop there. If Gaignun were caught in public with another woman, be she a simple waitress or a government affiliate, tabloids automatically assumed she was Chairman Kukai's "third woman." Helmer had a good laugh when he read one tabloid suggesting Gaignun had relations with Lapis Roman. Jr. laughed his ass off after reading that article, too, though his punishment came after the boy unintelligently snorted, "Yeah _right_! There's no way Roman would be that desperate!" Needless to say, Gaignun and his girls got used to the unflattering media. After all, they knew the truth.

However, Jr. also knew the truth. Hell, it was _Jr._'s "bright idea" for Gaignun and the Godwins to hook-up in the first place! Originally, young Nigredo was uncomfortable superseding his older brother in the physical realm, even if it was out of the boys' control. But typically stubborn, Rubedo swore on his life that he had no problem with Nigredo growing up. It was Jr. who acted like a matchmaker so his quiet little brother could develop some form of a social life. After all, Gaignun was the heir and figurehead of the Kukai Foundation. It was more important that Gaignun worked _outside _his office to interact with people and politicians, rather than him shadily working behind the scenes. Reminiscing, Gaignun even recalled his brother making a not-so-subtle dig to his uptight, overworked younger sibling: "Jeez, Gaignun! Loosen up and get laid already, will ya?" Perhaps Jr. did not quite mean it so literally…

Nevertheless, if Jr. was angry with Gaignun and the girls for keeping him up all night, well, the redhead only had himself to blame for that. Shrugging with his eyes, Gaignun finally added, "If last night bothered you, Jr., you could have closed our telepathic link. You're the link master, after all."

An obvious flinch was seen from the redhead's slumped position. "Do you honestly think I didn't try disconnecting?" Jr. exclaimed, though less forcibly than his earlier ranting. Perhaps the boy's mellowed voice was credited to his head still buried in his hands, or lethargy taking its toll on his small body.

Of course, Jr.'s illustrious temper never remained subdued for long. Gaignun could already feel his brother's anger swell across the U.R.T.V.s' link again. "But do you have any concept of how much '_concentration_' it takes to fully close the link, Gaignun?" Jr. started bellowing, raising his head to glare exhausted eyes back on his brother. The only difference this time was Gaignun noticed Jr.'s face better resembled the color of his cherry hair. Then Jr.'s tirade continued with both barrels.

"Link master or not, I can't focus my wavelength while listening to '_Oohh_! Mary! Yes! Oh GOD! Shelley! Yes! _Yes_! _OOOOOOH_!' every five friggen seconds!" the red-faced redhead screamed, before rubbing his eyes as if trying to clean the dirty thoughts from scarred memory. "The mental pictures alone are distracting enough, dammit!"

Furthermore, though Jr. did not dare tell Gaignun, sometimes sounds and mental pictures were not the "only" things sent across the spiritual link. If actions were powerful enough, _physical_ sensations could seep into a U.R.T.V.'s link. It did not happen very often, but when it _did_ happen…well, there was more than one reason why Jr. took a cold shower this morning.

"Come to think of it, don't blame all this link bullshit on _me_, either, Gaignun!" countered the cranky link master. "I wouldn't have to worry about any of this if you'd just block _your_ thoughts!"

Perhaps that was true, but Gaignun remarked, "Then why didn't you shield _your_ mind?"

"For the same damn reason I couldn't close the link," Jr. grunted, folding his arms over his chest. "In fact, it'd make a helluva lot more sense if you just blocked your thoughts, instead of me screwing around with mental shields or closing down the entire link!" Tables turned, the redhead then grumbled darkly across the accursed spiritual link. _("Then again…I suppose thought-blocking is outta' the question for YOU, considering it requires you to think with your 'brain,' instead of your–")_

_("Jr.…")_, admonished the father to the son.

_("Suck on it, Gaignun. You know it's true")_, retorted the big brother to the little brother.

Whether Gaignun liked it or not, Jr. did make a valid point. The U.R.T.V. mental link was a two-way street. Both brothers had ways to close their minds, but neither proved successful due to distractions: Jr. distracted by listening to Gaignun and the Godwins, and Gaignun distracted by the Godwins themselves. For whatever it was worth, the younger Variant did try to block his thoughts during evenings with Mary and Shelley. Unfortunately, as Jr. vulgarly insinuated, thought-blocking required a degree of mental concentration. While two gorgeously passionate ladies occupied Gaignun's concentration, if asked about his oldest brother, Gaignun would say "Jr. who?" Contrary to popular belief, Gaignun Kukai was not perfect and was fallible like any man.

Nonetheless, last night was not Gaignun's first time with Mary and Shelley. Until now, Jr. never showed signs of minding. Besides, few secrets were kept between telepathic U.R.T.V.s, who arguably knew each other more intimately than typical siblings. If Jr. acted unfazed by Gaignun's love life, there was little reason for Gaignun to block his thoughts, aside modesty. But in retrospect, Gaignun did recall some mornings when he would be prancing around the _Durandal_, and Jr. would be drowning himself in coffee. Alas, the younger brother would be too preoccupied with "other" thoughts for him to read into Jr.'s odd lack of energy. Technically, the redhead was usually the one bouncing off the walls in the morning…except on mornings following a night between Gaignun and the girls. But again, Jr. never threw a fuss until now. Perhaps there was only so much Jr. could take, before needing to vent his frustrations.

Frustrations, or… "Do not tell me you're jealous, Rubedo."

Gaignun's words were the equivalent of a declaration of war. That would explain why Jr. snapped his head out of his hands and looked ready to massacre his brother. Before Gaignun opened his mouth, it would have been wiser if he double-checked whether or not the redhead was carrying his guns. Just because Jr. recently took a shower did not guarantee his precious weapons were elsewhere. Jr. and his Makarov were identical to a mother bear and her cub: where one was, the other was not far.

However, judging by the wide-eyed expression on Jr.'s flushed face, the smirking Gaignun knew he was willing to take the risk.

"'_Jealous_'?" Jr. exclaimed, slamming _both _fists against the countertop. Gaignun was waiting for that counter to break in the immediate future. "No! I'm _PISSED_, that's what! I've got nothing against you and the girls, but-"

"It certainly _sounds _like you have something against us, Jr.," Gaignun interjected, narrowing eyes into his sibling's enraged sapphires. "And it sounds like 'envy' if you ask me."

"Yeah, well nobody asked you, so quit flattering yourself, Pimp Kukai," grumbled Jr., folding his arms across his chest in a huff. When Gaignun failed to make a response to the redhead's weak counterattack, Jr. took a deep breath before engaging his next diatribe. "You have NO idea how many times I've put up listening to you three! Gimmie a little credit for sucking it up as long as I did, but this is getting ridiculous. Every holiday, every birthday, every weekend, and _every damn night_!" lamented the rambling boy. "I mean, I realize we're genetically enhanced guys, Gaignun, but come' on; don't you get tired of it after the _zillionth_ time? I'm waiting for you to explode or something! I'm not saying go chaste, but come up for air once in a while!"

Unfazed, Gaignun's smirk broadened. "You only say that because you're not getting anything, Jr."

To be expected, the redhead's fuse blew. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

U.R.T.V.s were not psychic regarding clairvoyance, but Gaignun did not need such to foresee his elder brother's attack. It was Gaignun's so-called genetically enhanced reflexes that saved his life at that moment. His larger hands caught Jr.'s wrists the instant the boy leapt onto the counter and attempted to lunge. Any silverware not jostled by Jr.'s earlier counter-smashing finally met the floor. Minus reflexes, Gaignun's only other saving grace was being physically stronger than his older sibling's smaller frame. Even so, Jr. was a force to be reckoned with, and six thirty-seven A.M. was not the appropriate hour to trigger Red Dragon mode. Yet somehow, although Gaignun was literally restraining a dragon from tearing him limb for limb, the man still upheld a nonchalant smile.

"You heard what I said, Jr.," the black-haired sibling answered suavely. Yes, Gaignun discreetly braced himself for being used for target practice, in the event Jr. broke free. Any minute now, the younger sibling would be dodging blows, bullets, both, or _worse_.

Still, it was not as though Gaignun was _lying_. After all, though Jr. heard about Gaignun's relationships across the mental link, Gaignun was aware his older brother's side of the link was on the "quiet" side. He understood Jr.'s frustrations, and Gaignun respected Jr.'s true age. Alas, the fact remained that whether or not Jr. was twenty-six years old, the redhead's physical appearance never matured. Risks were too great for a perpetual twelve-year-old to undertake any form of a sex life. Heavens knew the media had field days concocting overblown smut about Gaignun's threesome!

"And for the record, Jr., the girls and I don't do it '_every night_.' You are just exaggerating like the tabloids." Then again, Gaignun suspected half the material printed in tabloids was credited to Jr. blabbing about his "dad's" love life. The redhead claimed it would be good publicity for the foundation, though Gaignun never wanted that type of publicity. _Yet another one of big brother's bright ideas_. "But if this has bothered you for so long, I wish you would have told me sooner."

It was obvious Jr. wanted to literally wipe that smile off the ebony-haired man's lips. However, it was also obvious that the link master only had four hours of sleep empowering him. Such probably explained why Gaignun was still breathing, and why he never broke a sweat restraining his less-energetic-than-usual brother. Relenting rather uncharacteristically, Jr. grunted another inaudible curse. Pulling his wrists from Gaignun, the smaller brother hopped down from the counter, back into Jr.'s original seat. Propping a heavy head on his tattooed palm, the older brother just tiredly huffed.

"Yeah right. As if me telling you about this sooner would've solved anything," scoffed Jr., though there was a twinge of defeat in his tone. He clearly was not in the mood to be discussing such topics, even though Jr. was guilty for broaching the subjects in the first place. "All you would've done was start harping on this jealousy bullshit like you are now! And if you think I'm jealous, you're wrong, Gaignun! Got it? _Wrong_!"

Jr. did not present a convincing argument. "You're certainly acting jealous, Jr."

"Well I'm _not_, dammit!" attacked the redhead, nearly slamming his fist against the counter for a third time. "I have no interest in engaging in your perverted flings!"

"'Perverted flings'?" Gaignun repeated, raising a black eyebrow over his brother's odd selection of words. Granted, the media coined stranger terms to describe Chairman Kukai's relationship with the Godwin ladies. But there were differences between the tabloids discussing Gaignun's affairs, and hearing _Jr_. discuss Gaignun's affairs. The black-haired man was more inclined to take his brother's opinions to heart, instead of the lie-riddled press' word of mouth. "What exactly do you think Mary, Shelley, and I do?"

Loaded question. Gaignun got his answer the moment he watched the link master's face sport a deeper shade of crimson. Before replying, Jr. had to swallow a gag crawling up his throat. "Based on the things I've heard over the link…I don't wanna' know."

To be fair, Jr. assumed Gaignun's threesome was "classy"…say, classier than whatever in hell's name went on inside his twin's pedophilic harem of Kirschwassers. When it came to Albedo, Jr. was devout believer that what happened in the Song of Nephilim should _stay _in the Song of Nephilim! There were things to be said for the twins' mental link getting crippled by fourteen years of distance and disuse. No doubt, whatever Gaignun and the Godwins did together would be "normal," compared to how Albedo and his doll collection spent their free time. Just thinking about it drove Jr. to be five seconds away from vomiting.

But to be perfectly honest, Jr. did not care if Mary and Shelley were Gaignun's dominatrices…though the redhead immediately kicked himself for inviting another onslaught of bad mental images. _VERY bad! _The bottom line was Jr. did not want to know what went on in his brother's bed! Whether the sex was hot, modest, classy, or disgusting, that was Gaignun, Mary, and Shelley's business! Jr. did not want to know about it.

Yes, the link master had a bad habit of sticking his nose where it did not belong. However, for once in his life, Jr. specifically tried to mind his own business, and yet his damned U.R.T.V. telepathy backfired. He tried blocking his thoughts. He tried disconnecting the link. Alas, Jr.'s efforts never worked for these particular scenarios. Even on the rare instances he succeeded in disconnecting the link, Jr. would still have to tolerate the racket coming from the next room. The walls might be soundproof, but they were not _vibration_-poof. All Jr. needed to see were picture frames falling off his walls to know _exactly_ what was happening on the other side. Jr. wondered which would crack first: him, or the _Durandal_! Why the hell did Jr. agree to have the captain and chairman's suites built smack-dab next to each other? Yet another bright idea that blew up in the redhead's face. And even if he disconnected the link and left his bedroom, Jr.'s thoughts would unconsciously wander back to the very source of his insomnia. Sex was like Pandora's Box, and once opened there was no stopping it from preoccupying his thoughts. Jr. was a man, after all.

Needless to say, for Jr., listening to Gaignun's love life made it too hard to concentrate, too loud, too distracting, and too…upsetting. Not that Jr. was going to give Gaignun the satisfaction of knowing that last detail.

Sadly for the stubborn redhead, the brothers' mental link was _still _against Jr.'s favor. Obviously exhausted, the link master was getting sloppy regarding the censorship of his own thoughts. Reading his brother's unspoken mind, Gaignun's lips curled in a gentler manner. The man found himself unable to restrain a sympathetic chuckle. In a way, Gaignun felt like slapping his forehead for not realizing it sooner. _Of course_ Jr. was envious, and he had every right.

But…

Jr. perked upon hearing Gaignun rise from his seat, rounding the corner to meet Jr.'s opposite side of the counter. Despite earlier teases, the black-haired Variant did find his brother's appearance pitiful. There was never any reason for Gaignun to contemplate the types of frustrations Jr. underwent these past fourteen years. Having a "younger" brother get more action than the "older" brother did not inflate Jr.'s pride.

"I suppose the girls and I could take it easy for a while," Gaignun admitted, much to Jr.'s blinking amazement. Placing a hand on his brother's shoulder, Gaignun nodded for confirmation. To be honest, though this conversation was obviously awkward for Jr., Gaignun was glad they had this chat. The brothers shared almost everything, but sex was one subject Jr. avoided for obvious reasons. "I'm sure Mary and Shelley would understand."

Tired sapphires blinked again. For once in his life, Jr. was lost for words. Nevertheless, the stubborn redhead was not about to accept his brother's asinine offer, no matter how generously selfless it was on Gaignun's behalf. "Oh sure, then blame me for ruining your sex life," Jr. snorted, scrunching his face defiantly. "Fat chance, Gaignun. I'm not gonna' get on Mary and Shelley's shit lists, either. Besides, how selfish do you think I am?"

Again came another loaded question. Alas, just because Jr. needed to vent his frustrations did not mean he intended to destroy his brother's relationship, either. Rubedo did not pair Gaignun and the Godwins just so he could tear them apart. Awkwardness aside, Gaignun, Mary, and Shelley were special to the redhead. Jr. would be damned to let the Godwins date a jerkoff boyfriend who abused the women, just like those pharmaceutical bastards did on Miltia. Similarly, the last thing Rubedo wished upon his baby brother was a girlfriend who would break Nigredo's heart. He may not have the most experience with "romance," but Jr. understood the pain of a broken heart, something he did not wish on anybody. No doubt, Mary and Shelley would never hurt Gaignun, and Gaignun would never hurt Mary and Shelley. Their relationship was a win-win situation.

That is, the relationship was a win-win situation for Gaignun and the Godwins, while Jr. was a different story. But frankly, whenever it came to Gaignun's "wild nights," the only comfort Jr. took was in knowing one fact. Underneath the stomach-churning sounds, moans, screams, and so forth echoing inside Jr.'s disturbed mind, he knew his little brother was happy.

That was enough.

Smiling appreciatively, Gaignun then cocked his head. Naturally, after this morning's talk, Gaignun knew he was bound to worry about Jr. every time Mary and Shelley entered his bedroom. "Then what will you do about this 'four hours of sleep' issue of yours, Jr.?"

Shrugging, the redhead put on the most confident grin he could muster at six-forty A.M., after four hours of sleep. "I'll do what I've been doing for the past seven years: suck it up, grin and bear it, load up on caffeine in the morning, and then join Matthews' crew for drinks come nightfall. I've got the routine down-pat by now, trust me," admitted Jr. After rubbing his eyes for the nth time, the sleepy U.R.T.V. then narrowed a playful glare up at Gaignun. "But now that you know about this, it's high time _you_ start paying for my drinks. You owe me, little bro."

Gaignun could not argue. "Fair enough," he nodded, before placing both hands on Jr.'s shoulders and rubbing them. Such was a bad move, because the little massage started coercing the drowsy boy to catch up on the sleep he lost. Maybe just this once, Gaignun would let Jr. take today off, provided the redhead did not throw a fuss about it. "Drinks will be on me tonight."

Between his lack of sleep and Gaignun's massage, it became a struggle for Jr. to stay awake. If Gaignun pulled these massages on Mary and Shelley, it was no wonder why the ladies were putty in the man's strong yet gentle hands. Eyes half-open, the weary older brother cracked another teasing smirk. "What? Casanova's got no flings with the girls tonight?"

Jade eyes rolling again, Gaignun sighed softly. "I already told you; we don't do it every night," he reminded, finally leaving Jr.'s shoulders before the redhead dozed off entirely. Once freed from Gaignun's rub, Jr. found himself struggling to still his bobbing head, riding the outskirts of falling into slumber right at the kitchenette counter. "Take the day off, Jr. I won't mind."

Of course, it was obvious the only person who would mind was Jr. Weakly shooing away Gaignun's offering hand, the redhead grumbled a proud "Don't baby me, '_little_' brother. I'm not a kid."

Gaignun often begged to differ. "Then stop acting like one," he advised, beating Jr. to the punch line before another war erupted. Then again, the tired boy was not as chipper since his tirade ended. Perhaps it was subtly relieving for Gaignun's brother to have finally gotten that overdue rant off his chest. It made Gaignun wonder how long Jr. had been feeling this way, probably longer than the redhead admitted. Truly, Jr.'s honesty, even in so many words, was quite an honor for the black-haired brother. But for now, Gaignun playfully resumed his parental charade, pointing an index finger to the captain's suite. "Now go back to bed before I carry you in there, young man."

Though Jr. knew his younger brother possessed the physical means to uphold his threat, "Carry me, old man, and you'll never satisfy Mary and Shelley again."

The black-haired U.R.T.V. had a feeling the link master was not kidding, either. "Then I take it you'll go quietly, Jr.?"

Not having much of a choice, and too tired to argue, Jr. ran a hand through his damp scruffy hair and relented. "Argh…yeah yeah, I'm going, '_Dad_.' Dammit," he cussed before sauntering to his room. Frankly, in spite of his usually carefree nature, Jr. did not like to slack off. Once meetings ended, paperwork was filed, and duties were completed, then Jr. indulged in R&R. But in his current zombie-like state, Jr. would be prone to botching jobs that required a higher level of attention. Paperwork was a pain in the ass to do once, never mind twice! Thus, swallowing his pride, Jr.'s tattooed hand grazed the button necessary to swish open his bedroom door.

_("I'm sorry.")_

Barely inside the threshold, and barely conscious enough to decipher his younger sibling's telepathic words, Jr. peered over his shoulder. At first, the drowsy U.R.T.V. was not certain Gaignun spoke. "Huh? F-for what, Gaignun?"

Still standing by the counter, the man paused for a moment, glancing at his reflection in the metal tabletop. "For…rubbing salt in your wounds," he admitted, feeling his own little burden lift from his shoulders. Though he was not looking directly at Jr., Gaignun could tell his elder sibling was surprised. "I really didn't mean to, Rubedo." He always knew that Rubedo wanted Nigredo to be happy, but was the redhead blind to the fact that Nigredo wanted _Rubedo_ to be happy, too?

Of course not.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Jr. softly reassured, managing to offer his younger brother a more sincere smile than before. "I guess…I guess this stuff can't be helped," he shrugged, stealing a glance at his own physique reflected in the bedroom's metallic floor. The Fountain of Youth had its drawbacks, but Jr. knew he perpetuated this subject long enough. Yes, the link master's body got on his nerves, but that was _Jr._'s problem, not Gaignun's. Jr. would not punish his baby brother for mistakes Rubedo made. He sacrificed his comrades to save himself fourteen years ago, so now it was Rubedo's turn to be the atoned sacrifice.

Besides, Gaignun was worth it. Though the youngest, Nigredo was certainly more altruistic than the egocentric twins. If Jr. wanted to prove that he _did _give a damn about others aside himself, this was his chance. Rubedo was the oldest, after all. Though he may be a man with needs, he was also a man willing to set aside those needs for someone more deserving. "You're happy, Nigredo. Don't apologize for that."

There was a pause thereafter, prompting Jr. to return his attention to his sibling. Somehow, during the time it took for the redhead to gaze at his reflection, Gaignun had left his position at the counter. Gradually, the man approached his "son," offering a sincere smile, himself.

If Jr. did not know better, he could have sworn Gaignun wanted to say more. All that came out of the man's mouth was, "Get some rest, Jr."

Raising an eyebrow, Jr. suspiciously watched his brother for an extra moment. That familiar smile…_smirk_…from earlier was starting to reappear on Gaignun's lips. _He's up to something_. Had Jr. been better energized, he would have badgered his brother's odd behavior. But lacking the will to do so, the redhead decided to hound his sibling later. Drinks at the _Ironman _bar would be a good opportunity to piss off Gaignun.

"Alright," and with that, Jr. entered his room, hardly waiting to crash into his bed. It was reassuring to know his sleep would be uninterrupted this time. At least, so Jr. assumed.

"By the way…" Gaignun added, causing Jr. to pause before reaching his bed. Minutely irritated, the redhead spun around and offered a silent expression of annoyance. Jr.'s door still open, the ebony-haired sibling remained at the threshold…_smiling_. Why the hell Gaignun kept smiling was beyond Jr.'s comprehension at the moment. _He's definitely up to something._

Jr.'s suspicions were correct, too.

"The next time you want to get something off your chest, Jr., you can just _tell _me," Gaignun spoke truthfully, winking. "You should know I will listen. There's no need to hide anything for seven years, and there's especially no reason for you to throw a fit and act so _jealous_, Rubedo."

The second to last word in Gaignun's sentence was _intentional_. Jr. knew it. He also knew his smiling brother was being earnest, while at the same time Gaignun was trying lighten the somber mood. Nigredo had a playful side, just like Rubedo. Later, Jr. would thank his brother for trying to reinvigorate him.

But as of this moment…the semi-reinvigorated brother felt one meager jolt of energy burst through his veins. Fortunately, no matter how tired Jr. felt, he was never too tired to defend his pride. Sans "Albedo," no other word grated Jr.'s nerves as dangerously as him being dubbed "jealous," as though Jr. really was the twelve-year-old brat he appeared. Whether Gaignun was trying to brighten or rile Jr., or do both, the results were the same.

"Goddammit, Gaignun! How many times do I have to tell you?" Irritable and irate, the so-called jealous Variant did what he should have done earlier. No, Jr. did not shoot Gaignun. Jr. doubted he could ever shoot his baby brother. However, charging and tackling Gaignun to beat the shit out of him was something Jr. could manage. The tired boy obviously had one pint of energy left, but it was enough strength for Jr. to lunge and attack Gaignun's collar.

Several boisterous _thuds_ and _bangs_ later…

In the midst of their mindless horseplay, one of the brothers unintentionally whacked the button to a bedroom door.

…_Gaignun_'s bedroom door, to be precise.

_Swish!_

Identically to when the U.R.T.V.s were real kids and fell ass-backwards out Sakura Mizrahi's closet, when Gaignun's door flew open…

_Crash!_

Naturally, the racket easily awoke the two ladies previously sleeping in Gaignun's fancy bed. Nearly jumping out of bed (and out of their skins), the Godwins woke with starts, Mary even shrieking for a split second. Groggy and half-awake, Mary immediately thought the crash-bang-booms were credited to another ambush by U-TIC. Now would be an _exceptionally_ inconvenient time for soldiers to storm the women's room, considering Mary and Shelley's attire…or lack thereof.

Instinctively seizing bed sheets to cover themselves from the chests-down, the startled women braced themselves. Mary nearly screamed, "PERVERTS!" before her drowsy eyes adjusted better to notice Shelley's gaze was less panicked. Following the lead of the better-composed sister, Mary rubbed her eyes again, absorbing the image at the open bedroom door. Even in Mary's un-focus, a familiar patch of cloudy but bright red hair was unmistakable. No U-TIC soldiers could be seen; just a blurry Master Gaignun and blurry Little Master. _Phew_, what a relief that was for Mary!

Nonetheless, "What in seven hells do the two of ya think ya doin'?" blasted Mary, clearly not a morning person like Shelley. Until a moment ago, the younger Godwin slept as soundly as a baby, undergoing rapturous dreams of her beloved master. Then noisy hell broke loose, ruined Mary's sweet dreams, and now there was hell to pay! The blonde had a high intolerance for anyone who dared deprive Mary of her beauty sleep, especially when the aforementioned sleep regarded Master Gaignun. Hence, Mary exploded. "Jeez, ya scared us half ta' death! I thought U-TIC attacked again or somethin'! Neva' EVA' do that again, or I'll-"

Mary's tirade prevented her from immediately noticing her sister's silence. Granted, Shelley was always the softer-spoken sister, but she was not shy about voicing her opinions on matters that deserved reprimanding. Yet, the purple-haired woman stayed quiet and just stared silently at the intruding men in the doorway. Only when Mary noticed this awkward silence did she finally absorb the threshold's sight and shut her mouth.

Her mouth did not stay shut for very long, because it dropped open a second later.

Whatever roughhousing the brothers engaged promptly ended thereafter. In the threshold's background, a few nearby kitchen chairs and plants had been toppled. The messy trail led to the eye-opening image of the Kukais sprawled right inside Gaignun's doorway. Flat on his back, the black-haired man silently stared at an upside-down image of the ladies in his bed. Mary had half a mind to tease the men for the incredibly poor display of acting their ages. However, her attention was more keenly drawn on Little Master.

Specifically, Little Master's hands gripped Gaignun's collar in a threatening manner…

…While the boy's legs straddled Gaignun's waist.

It did not help that neither brother was wearing anything underneath the bathrobes, either.

Frankly, it was a wee too early in the morning for Mary's, and even Shelley's, brain to handle this type of image. Yes, the Godwins understood Little Master's size issue, so they always assumed he harbored unspoken sexual frustration.

_But…for Little Mastah'…to go after Mastah' Gaignun? His younger brother?_

As with clairvoyance, U.R.T.V.s could not read people's minds, aside their siblings'. Yet, Gaignun did not need to read the women's minds to know _exactly _what they were thinking. Moderately embarrassed, the black-haired man shook his head, silently amused by the fervent blush across his older brother's cheeks. It would prove interesting to see how Rubedo would get himself out of this mess, even though Gaignun was equally responsible for this fiasco.

Realizing the compromising position, the wide-eyed Jr. felt his heart race in utter embarrassment. The fact that Mary and Shelley were covered in nothing but a bed sheet did not ease the awkwardness, either. True, pondering what the pretty ladies might be hiding underneath the covers did pique Jr.'s curiosity…a little (…okay, a _lot_). But Mary and Shelley were _Gaignun_'s women, not Jr.'s, and the latter did not have peeking privileges. The boy's hands released Gaignun's collar as if it were on fire, thereafter shielding the redhead's eyes. To call this moment awkward was a gross understatement.

The awkwardness was not quite over, either.

When a disturbing revelation finally dawned on him, Jr. dared to sneak a peek back at the girls, though for a _very _different reason this time. Though the women were looking at him and Gaignun, Mary and Shelley's eyes seemed to peer a little too _low_ for Jr.'s comfort. It was not an exaggeration to say Jr. nearly died when he felt a very disturbing draft.

After the kitchen roughhousing, what were the odds that the bathrobes _still_ covered the men's…?

…Based on Mary's wide eyes, and Shelley immediately averting her gaze for modesty's sake…Jr. drew his own conclusions. Realizing his eyesight was not the number-one thing he should cover at the moment, Jr. closed his and Gaignun's robes faster than the _Durandal_'s emergency lockdown system. Blush brighter than his hair, Jr. practically screamed, "This isn't what it looks like, girls! I swear!"

Frankly, Mary was still was unsure if she was dreaming, but she knew she would need a few more hours of sleep after seeing this escapade. Of course, Mary and Shelley were not "worried," per se. Why should they be? The sisters intimately knew what Master Gaignun liked. Still, the playful Mary had to admit that the position the brothers somehow got themselves into was pretty damn priceless. She was not fond of being rudely awaken early in the morning, but this embarrassing scene was worth the headache. If only Mary had a camera!

In particular, Little Master's face turned a deeper crimson when he heard the inevitable giggles escape Mary's smirking lips. Shelley muttered a chastising "_Mary_…," reminding her sister to remain respectful to Master Gaignun and Little Master. But after the brothers ungentlemanly awoke Mary from her slumber, the younger girl figured the Kukais deserved retribution.

_Not what it looks like, eh? _"Oh, I'm suuure it ain't," Mary teased, though deciding to keep her teases at a minimum, lest Jr. dropped dead from total humiliation. Beauty sleep aside, Mary had to admit that she enjoyed seeing the brothers act like actual brothers once in a while. "Though, I suppose there's no law sayin' my sister and I are the 'only' ones who can have fun with Mastah' Gaignun," she teased, nudging Shelley's bare arm whilst winking right at Jr. "Right, Little Mastah'?"

The once-proud link master's face defied all laws of physics and flushed the deepest red Mary ever saw.

"Hehe, oh relax, Little Mastah'! I'm only teasin' ya," the girl giggled, ignoring her older sister's small glares. "Besides, even if this _was _what it looks like, that position wouldn't work, anyway." Her disheveled curls bounced back and forth as Mary playfully shook her head. "Nope. Mastah' Gaignun prefers bein' on top."

"_Mary_!" hissed Shelley, though Mary laughed victoriously once seeing a rare shade of pink tint the cheeks of her perpetually collected sister. Fortunately, Shelley was not the only person in the room who blushed. Gaignun's face was sporting crimson, and he could tell by the proximity that his brother nearly gagged. Sending apologetic glances to Gaignun and Jr., Shelley shook her head. "That was an exceptionally inappropriate thing to say, Mary."

"Serves them right!" Mary flashed the brothers a grin, before nodding matter-of-factly. "My comment wasn't any more inappropriate than how they were behavin' a second ago!"

Technically, Mary was not lying. Although Shelley also enjoyed seeing the Kukais act like normal brothers, even she admitted her masters' behavior was immature. Biting her lip, Shelley timidly admitted, "Well…I have to agree." She did not intend to childishly "take sides" in this matter. Still, the sight of Little Master piled onto Master Gaignun was not very impressive for adult-age men, never mind for adult-age men who were government affiliates. "If you do not mind my saying, sirs, this rowdy behavior is a little unsightly for the two of you."

"Shelley's right!" piped up Mary, who actually enjoyed taking sides to tease her masters. This would certainly teach Gaignun and Jr. not to ruin Mary's sweet dreams. It would be an utter miracle of Jr. did _not _attack Gaignun again, after hearing Mary's final remark. "You're adults, for God's sake! Ya' should have enough courtesy to behave and keep it down while otha's are tryin' to sleep!"

**The End**

* * *

**A/N**: And the pot called the kettle black. ^_^ Hehe, actually, I've been working on this one-shot for the past four months, but it took me a while (and several drafts/re-writes) to finally be "somewhat" satisfied with the overall product. I'm still not 100% certain about the outcome, but I hope this fic gave somebody a little chuckle/smile/smirk today. If not, well, can't blame a girl for trying, right?

Reviews are appreciated. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed my story!


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